We should all benefit from relationships. You learn. You grow. You laugh. You teach. You love. You venture, you enjoy each other’s company. These are all wonderful, beautiful, essential things and, imo, are how all real relationships are defined and maintained..
But that’s not what I’m talking about today.
I have learned [and am often reminded] that many people suck. Many. Let’s face it: They may not know you well but still hope you fall. They want you to do well, but not better than them. [I know you’ve read that before]. They want you to be happy, but not seemingly happier than them. And often only want to engage with you to their benefit. Seat fillers waiting for you to unleash your potential just so they can tell everyone they know you and ride your coattails.
I’m talking about the people that pop up whenever their emotional baggage gets heavy and they need to unload. Yet -poof!- like magic, when you need an empathetic shoulder, this same crying fool is nowhere in sight.
I’m talking about the people that give you a spotlight interrogation on the ways you choose to live your life instead of trying to see things from your point of view, learn and enjoy the ride with you.
I’m talking about acquaintances who barely know you but don’t want to see you flourish.
I’m talking about folks who smile in your face with their fingers crossed behind their back, sticking around to get a front row seat of your trips and bumps.
I’m talking about the so-called friends and loved ones who don’t clap when you win. They wish you the best until you claim the victory you’ve been working toward. And now that you’re winning, you’re a threat.
With common characteristics of self-absorption and insecurity, these people are. The. Worst.
We know I’ve touched on this topic a couple times and please believe me when I say I’m not bitter, nor do I allow these types into my inner circle or let them take up too much space in my thoughts. [Neither should you.] The point I’m making? Just be aware of these kinds. Learn to weed them out. Don’t allow them to take up too much of your time or energy. Continue to emit good vibes and the right minds will take notice. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Don’t give others the power to discourage. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally, encourage you and like what you stand for. And even when they don’t cheer or clap or smile, know that all the approval you need lies within you.
When you choose happiness, recognize your greatness, love yourself and are truly comfortable with who you are, no one can touch that. Not even naysayers, Debbie Downers or leeches.
❤
so true, sis. i had to let one of my friends go a few months back because it was always the same old story with her. literally, the EXACT same story. about how people did this to her and that. and how “lucky” i was to have experienced the things i have as if i didn’t work very hard and smart for them.
i needed this reminder. i’m a nurturer, so i tend to want to save folks. but, nope. that’s not what i deserve. i deserve to have meaningful friendships and relationships with people who are willing to pour back into me what i pour into them.
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Right on! I am glad this resonated with you and that you know your worth. Sometimes you just outgrow people and that’s ok. And your last statement, that is what all relationships are about.
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That is true and it can even be someone from your family. You have to be aware of where they are coming from, though. Their behaivour may indicate that they are having a rough time in their life and a little envy may creep in.
Leslie
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Exactly, Leslie. You’re spot on, as usual. Some people are uncomfortable with you being comfortable with yourself.
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“I have learned [and am often reminded] that many people suck.” Funny but true line. As you strive and dare to be great many people (family included) will secretly pray on your downfall. Its a sad but harsh reality. After learning my lesson enough times, I can now weed through who’s real and who’s fake.
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Good for you! It can be difficult to weed em out at first, especially family- but you learn how essential it is to your happiness and well-being. You will never live a full life surrounded by negativity. Energies don’t lie.
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The world never seems to run out of those people. The fair weather friend is always around the corner waiting to cry on your shoulder and run when you start to speak of your problems. I hit people with a fictional problem first, just to test them out.
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It’s a shame we have to do such thorough gardening to weed em out.
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