I like to describe myself as an optimistic realist. You know, I really try to make the best of things, not waste time on trivialities…but I’m aware shit is hitting the fan somewhere at any given moment. And 2016 has been a m a z i n g thus far, so I should have been prepared for the negatives. But I wasn’t. Surely a couple of moths were attracted to my light. Maybe it’s a sign I need to start my spring cleaning a lil early this year…
If you are willing to look at another person’s behavior toward you as a reflection of the state of the relationship they have with themselves rather than a statement about your value as a person, then you will, over a period of time, cease to react at all.
Well, I have been working on fixing this little issue + Yogi’s quote helped steer me in the better direction. Maybe it was my ladytime emotions taking centerstage as they tend to do, but I regressed and had a moment; I found it difficult to focus on the people that love and adore me, instead giving my precious head space to those that attempt to block my joy or deny credit for the amazing shit I do.
Why is this?
Why do I feel the need for people that clearly don’t keep their word or value honesty to recognize my worth? Why can my loved ones see it but they can’t/won’t?! And why do I care!?? Can it be as simple an answer as it’s human nature? Even when relating Yogi’s quote to myself, I automatically thought of the negative ways others have been toward me instead of the abundance of love and acceptance I receive daily. But, like I said, I’m working on it..
I know we have all been on the receiving end of someone’s bad day, right? I’ve mentioned before that you can’t control how people interact with you, so I came to the conclusion that when I act from a place of good intent, love or respect, there is no reason for reciprocity to be denied. From strangers, family, new friends and old friends alike. And if I do receive otherwise, it has nothing to do with me. Who am I kidding! It just might have something to do with me being so cool and funny, confident and generally easygoing; unhappy folk tend to verbally piss on joy and poop all on the party with their negative behavior. And we all know guilty hearts act in foolish ways. Guilty for what? you ask. Who knows? Who really has time to inquire to why every person that does you wrong acts in such a manner? And if you do “figure it out,” what do you do with that information?
Your perception of me is an awareness of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me.
It has taken me a while to reach this fairly happy place. I was naive to think because, in the last few months, my energy has attracted some beautiful souls and would therefore only attract those worthy of my love, time + respect. I’m still learning how to weed them out, but I do find peace knowing their blunders are something they have to live with, not me.
❤
black|burgundy 
I LOVE THIS!!! I have been feeling the same way! I started the new year so positive and have found some amazing people thru blogging and in real life, but I’m having a difficult time letting others go. Trying to let go of toxic friends. Not exactly bad people, but realizing if I get the feeling you are manipulating me, there is a reason. I don’t want to be around people that make me feel that way because I don’t usually. But I also have this whole people pleasing issue that I am trying to let go of. I guess it’s hard to change things as you get older and maybe we have to work a little harder. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes! No problem. Thank you for your comment.
I think we, especially women, try to give people the benefit of the doubt [no benefit to us, of course]. We hope one day so and so will love us the way we love them so we let them stick around. And we ignore our intuition!
All it really boils down to is trusting ourselves and putting our happiness first. No matter what.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Yes! I have definitely started trusting myself much more.
LikeLiked by 2 people
…I would also add something that I’ve started doing. I think a lot about who I want to be in the world and seek to align with those people and experiences that demonstrate that, you know? If you are not aligned with who I want to be (e.g., I have a friend who judges people A LOT), then maybe you and I need to re-connect a little later.
LikeLiked by 1 person
For sure! You cannot expect elevation if you’re surrounded by stagnant energies.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my, Kelley thank you for this, I love it. You’re not alone with these thoughts and struggles, so yes, maybe it is human nature? I don’t know either…I tell you what though, it’s so refreshing to witness someone expressing it so eloquently instead of snatching people up, or making offensive Meme’s. This is so cathartic and helpful to you and your readers. Your reader is grateful!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Hey, Jeanette! Thank you for your feedback.
Memes can be funny, just not my style LOL. I know that I can be stubborn. I have my bad days. I can be short-tempered, just like anyone else, so I understand why people act the way they do [sometimes]. And I could have been pushed out of someone’s life for the same reasons I let others go.
But we have to know where to draw the line. We have to recognize who is worth keeping around. And most of all, stop second guessing our feelings or putting them on the back burner!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes! Stop second guessing our feelings, our intuition! Trust ourselves 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
LikeLiked by 2 people
SO much easier said than done, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
LikeLiked by 2 people
We are all in this world together, Kelley. We’d better reach out a helping hand, an understand heart as much as we can. It just makes this world a better place.
Leslie
LikeLiked by 1 person
Kelley this is so on point, it is unreal and it strikes a nerve with me. I am the ‘people pleaser’ type and I go out of my way to do everything I can for someone that I care about and despite getting knocked down, I continue to go back for more and wonder is it me or them? It is most definitely them and a little bit of the ‘people pleaser in me and I have to just let go. I cannot ‘fix’ everything, nor can I ‘make’ someone do something or be a certain way. If they’re not, they’re not going to be. It doesn’t matter what I do for them. This should be the year that I take stock and surround myself with those who I am actually really comfortable around and the drama is not ongoing. Food for thought, this has been. And so I thank you for providing it!
Excellent post!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you, Shelby! And thank you for the honest feedback. There’s only so many times you can get knocked down before you get fed up. People often show you who they are are, show you that they don’t appreciate you; we need to take heed instead of trying to prove whatever we think we’re proving by coming back round after round.
LikeLiked by 2 people
“Your perception of me is an awareness of you; my reaction to you is an awareness of me. ” Truth.com .org .net .yaassss ❤ ❤ ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Damn I guess it’s something in the air. Because these truths have just been coming to me. Then I check in with you as I usually do and voila you hit us with a great post reconfirming everything. Thanks for continually dropping jewels on us!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Signs are always around, it’s just the timing that can be off sometimes so we don’t pay attention or we don’t take action.
And you are so welcome! Your feedback is much appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person