Have you ever had a close friend that you were attracted to but never acted upon it? When your heart was crushed by another, he helped mend it with understanding and laughter. You got close, included him in your family functions, Netflix + chilled, gotten drunk together-all without a kiss or cuddle or feel up? For years. It may have been due to your relationship status, or his, or something you could not pinpoint that was just always off and the land beyond platonic was never discovered.. And then, years after your last friendly encounter, you hit him up to say hi, how are you?
With his response, a bright red light bulb finally turns on. And flashes.
Your palms start to sweat. Your heart pumps a little harder. Then a tidal wave of relief washes over you.
Within almost a decade, maybe you both subconsciously knew that you couldn’t be the one to “fix” him. None of these women were. But how many failed relationships and terminated pregnancies and deadened spirits can one man carry before he collapses from the weight?
Although you feel for him, his current lover and his messy walk-in closet collection of brokenness, you can do nothing but breathe deep + thank the universe a thousand times for sparing your heart.
There’s nothing rebellious about loving something that can’t love you. You’re a woman – you should have known that men in the city would split you in half searching for their fathers in between your legs. –Warsan Shire
More than once, he said you were perfect for him but also warned that he was no good. Now you know why you two never blossomed and why you never would.
*title name has been changed to protect identity