ain’t sh*t men [a reblog]

I enjoyed this piece mostly because it was written by a man to men on their shitty behavior [instead of an angry woman who is fed up. I hear you, sis, but it’s time men take that responsibility]. In a patriarchal society, of course some men learn that they can do anything. Say anything. Have anything; the world is their oyster. Even the bad boys get praised for.. well, being bad. But, I would never think to say “men ain’t shit” because that is an undeserved generalization. Sure, plenty of men ain’t, but I know a nice amount of gentlemen who are genuine, sweet, respectful, patient and generous. You know the kinds that never post non-artistic mostly nude WCWs, never call women out of their name [unless it’s along the lines of queen or beautiful]. The ones that call you if you don’t call them to confirm that you made it home safely. The kinds that give and give yet only expect no more than a thank you in return. Buuuut, this piece really made me think about how they got to be “great” in my eyes. Possibly someone called them out on their shit? Maybe they lost the love of their life? Maybe they held onto a skewed list of priorities and realized they put value in the wrong things. Or or maybe they were made in test tubes and have just always been that awesome and never did any woman dirty?

The answers? Subjective. But I’m sure every man I know has had a foot, knowingly or not, in rape culture. It’s just nice to hear one admit it.

It’s a great read. I’d like to hear your take.

By Jalil Mustaffa Bishop Dear Men: We ain’t shit. I feel like it is time for me to write the letter that I wished someone gave to me a long time ago. This letter is addressed to cisgender/heterosexual people who identify as men (cisgender refers to people who self-identify with the gender socially assigned to…

via Open letter to the league of extraordinary ain’t sh*t men on rape culture. — RaceBaitR

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23 thoughts on “ain’t sh*t men [a reblog]

  1. I don’t agree with rape. PERIOD! I don’t completely agree with this article. It sounds as if he is making every sexual encounter between men and women to be rape. Plus all these new terms such as “toxic masculinity” and “cisgender” etc sound ridiculous! I’m probably coming off as aggressive. I guess that’s my toxic masculinity. Lol. Naw but I just don’t believe the hype of everything these days.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel you. This is a space where we can all learn and be free to share differing opinions. So no, you’re not coming off as aggressive. Maybe because I feel like I know you? You seem like a rather gentle soul with plenty of passion for what you believe.

      Anywho, what I took from the author’s perspective is that for many men, women are there for their pleasure. That we should feel lucky to be stroking egos and dicks all day -_-

      “Smile, beautiful.”

      “Can I go home with you?”

      “Does your hair look like that down there, too?”

      These are all real questions that I have been asked. Not that it matters, but I didn’t have my body out and wasn’t warranting any of this attention with googly eyes or extended eye contact, but SOME men unknowingly participate in rape culture just because they can’t keep their freaky thoughts to themselves. And I know you’ve seen comments on pretty/sexy women’s photos that go way beyond innocent compliments. The writer is just focusing on why men feel comfortable to even think to say these things or worse.

      Thanks for your feedback.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I do agree that us men have been trained to treat sex with women as a conquest. As for them comments a lot of us men DEFINITELY go way too far!
        I have seen dudes flat out ask women on their main comment page, not even in her DM, some outrageous things. I can only imagine what you’ll social media inboxes look like! But then as the article says it is glamorized in the media and music. They’re making it regular behavior. How do you heal a society that is poisoned beyond repair?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. In every facet of LIFE, it is perpetuated! Applauded and celebrated! Look at the president-elect. #sideeye! I have nasty thoughts too, but I’d never think to share them so openly with s t r a n g e r s! My DMs are pretty sweet and seldom, maybe because I don’t put myself out there like that, if you know what I mean? No woman deserves to be raped or looked at as just a hole to insert, but some do objectify themselves and welcome the attention.

          How to heal? I say start with yourself. Check men that behave this way. Protect women and girls, even if they’re strangers. Stop engaging in activities that objectify women, even when no one’s watching.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Yeah, I heard that some kid grabbed a girl by the crotch and then claimed that if his president can do it then he can as well. -_-
            And there lies another problem. Men will meet a women like you, get checked, think about their actions for maybe two seconds then turn around say the same nonsense to another woman (the one who welcomes that attention) that is with the bs. Then the cycle continues.
            I’ve said something to a stranger before. It was more of a rape/ kidnap prevention comment. Her kid was a good 20-30 yards behind her and I was behind the kid. So when I got up to her I told her that she should have her child walking in front of her. The lady looked at me like I was out of my mind. Said something in a smart tone about knowing how to raise her kids and some other foolishness. I just said, “Ok! Have blessed day!” and walked off. Not all people but a lot of people don’t respect (I don’t know the word I’m looking for) people anymore.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. They “don’t wanna be called out on their shit!” That’s the phrase you’re looking for! I notice mostly white parents and parents of Latin decent letting their children run rampant in public! In parking lots, stores, restaurants! I understand kids have a lot of energy, but they need to know which places to allow certain behaviors as well as the dangers of certain actions. Case + point, adults walk out into traffic without looking because they are brought up to believe they’re invincible and everyone is gonna be nice to them. bs bs bs

            And you’re so right about the “compliments.” What I turn my face up to is the same mess that will get a the guy another woman’s number and even sex. Some guys don’t wanna do the work and there are plenty of women that will accept that. I told a friend about the “can I go home with you?” guy and she said I had a chip on my shoulder! What?! Because, at the least, I want to be taken on a few dates before a man even thinks about forming that question? Really? Just.. wack af.

            Just keep doing your part, Cliff. You and your kind are appreciated.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. Whaaaaaaaaat! Naw I can’t believe that friend’s statement! Like a real lady friend???
            I’m going write something about how white people and their privilege are raised to think that they can do what they want. Crosswalks for instance are white privilege. When they cross the street without looking even if there are crosswalk signs is irritating! First of all, the person driving has to see them signs and wouldn’t if they don’t. What if the brakes go out on the car!
            I feel your pain tho. It’s like your in a world all by yourself at times. At least for me it is.

            Liked by 1 person

          4. Well, more my cousin’s friend, but she’s always been really cool? LOL

            Seriously, white people can do no wrong. It seems as if they’re getting crazier, too. I dunno. I look forward to that piece.

            Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re right + I’m not sure when it changed. I know there are a lot of people having children that have yet to mentally mature. Many young minds may be influenced by the sexual violence they see on TV + hear on the radio with no one to steer them in the better direction. And I know many parents are more concerned with their child’s appearance than their character.

      Liked by 1 person

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