week 50 || 2016


I was making toffee the other day, dancing, listening to the cable music channel and you know they’re sneaking in more + more holiday songs here and there. Anyway, some Christmas songs are mad depressing, right?! I’m sure you can think of a couple, but this one in particular, I believe Gerald Levert sings something like “I don’t want no love songs. I don’t want no eggnog.” I was like damn. Talk about a mood killer. Life is pretty rough if you don’t even want eggnog, which has a reputation of uplifting spirits. Maybe he went vegan, I don’t know.

But I get it. I know many of us feel downhearted this time of year. Firstly, it’s cold. And maybe you can’t afford the gifts you want to give or that flight to visit your family. Maybe this is the first holiday season without your mom or lover. Maybe you just hate that capitalism gets all the limelight, year after year. Me too! Whatever the case, please take the time to recognize whatever triggers your unhappiness and ask yourself if it truly matters…I’ll give you a moment…

Of course you answered yes, self, it truly matters.

Why? Because your feelings are valid.

Good. Now that the facade has been removed and you can admit that thugs have feelings too, take time to heal. Make time to heal. Clear your mind. Take a breather. Be human. Cry, dammit! I know you’ve heard the term “you can’t serve from an empty vessel.” It’s true! You can only pretend for so long. And since we all can’t afford professional help and some of us prefer the “alternative” route, I’m sharing a list from Rasekhi Healing of a few pretty simple activities to fight those ill feels of depression:

  • spend time in the sun
  • eat fresh fruits + veggies
  • put fresh flowers next to your bed
  • dress in bright colors
  • watch funny movies
  • spend time with positive people
  • meditate daily
  • pray more
  • chant or sing
  • dance/exercise
  • read spiritual or uplifting books
  • do affirmations
  • do something creative
  • do something new

I’m a realistic optimist who is the worst at being serious [it’s a defense/coping mechanism, so “they” say], but I truly do care about each and every soul that I touch. [Yes, that includes you.] I don’t know where I’d be without my creative outlets, and for that reason alone, I empathize with those whose anti-depressant is suppressed or nonexistent. I know how that darkness feels and it is not a happy place. So, for whoever is ready and strong enough to be honest with themselves about their indescribable feelings of sadness, I hope this helps in your healing.

Take care.



29 thoughts on “week 50 || 2016

  1. You have to factor tor in how FACE everyone is around this time of year just to get something that they won’t use come March. I’m glad I don’t celebrate xmas

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Right right. Why do we need a special time of year to be nice to one another and give gifts? It’s only important because “they” deem it so. And why? It brings in that dough!

      I relish staying home, choppin it up really really hard with my fam or by myself, far away from the crazies.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for writing this. It is important to realize that the holidays are not a monolith and thus do not mean the same thing to everyone. There’s a bit of strife going on in my fam – so I can appreciate the practical advice you give here.

    And lol @ Gerald Levert not wanting eggnog. That IS rough!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hell yea I’m serious. You know I support black businesses. Wait you just be clicking like on my stuff and not researching, huh? Hahahahahaha. Do you ladies ship to California?

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Certain items, yes we do. And that includes the toffee.

          And no, I read you support Black films regardless of the amount of cheese! I promise I’m not that “reader” who just clicks like before I read an entire post.. cuz you might throw in some dumb shit at the end that I might not like! Ha!

          Liked by 1 person

  3. All really great suggestions. I’m guilty of doing 7 of them. Of course, it’s not my fault that there is virtually no sun up here until mid Feb! Take care, and enjoy the season amap!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lmbo @ “I was like damn. Talk about a mood killer. Life is pretty rough if you don’t even want eggnog”. Oh my gosh, this just made me laugh. You know me, I love validating my feelings. I’m not good at pretending things don’t bother me. The holidays are always hard for me but finding ways to cope has always been a must! My salvation during the holidays is cooking – pies, cakes, cookies, salmon (random, yes). I love this list and I think I’ll try fresh flowers next. My cats will have a field day with those though lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think knowing the root of why the holidays are always difficult is where your salvation lies. I’m all for baking too! And my eeeex is Haitian so we always had seafood at his family’s dinners, no matter the occasion or holiday, so salmon is not so random lol!

      I’m just glad to hear you have an outlet and take that time for self-care. Your feelings are valid and I wish you some healing in whatever methods work best.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. o0o yes you are spot on. I’m almost scared to explore the root of it but I really should. Maybe I’ll journal about it! It’s been a while since I’ve written anything. Haitian men are just…amazingly sexy. They remind me of black kings. Literally. Mind you, I only met one… lmao. But he left one hell of an impression.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. I think it would bring you to an even better understanding of your self. I have a “friend” who always masks her issues through makeup, dying her hair crazy colors, travel, moving and drinking. And she is just hypercritical of how people treat her and I’m like girl, how do you treat yourself??!

          The only Haitian I’ve dated was the longest relationship I’ve had thus far- he was so confident, the best lover, very affectionate, strong. I dunno about the rest of them, but he was great. Dumb, but great.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Mmmm that’s real stuff right there. Okay Kelley, you’ve convinced me. I’ll journal about it tonight lolol. Look what you’ve made me do! So…about this Haitian lover….how many posts have you referenced him in? Because I need to go back and refresh myself on the details, if so.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Yay! I aspire to inspire!

            And it’s been one post about him. Maybe? That’s how I know I’m over it cuz I have nothing bad or good to create an entire post around. Plus it was like 10 years ago! How old am I!? I feel like every guy has to one up, or two or three up him or I just say nah.

            Liked by 1 person

          3. ah hehe well since you’re special, I’ll let you in on a secret: I am thinking about only posting my poetry in April for poetry month. He miiight be featured if I do!

            Liked by 1 person

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