week 5|2017

Posted on by kelley

beingupile

can’t I just be a black woman that loves herself in peace? without having to explain why my skin (be it light honey or molasses) is a dream? why my hair (coarse or sleek) is a crown? can’t I just be a black woman that loves being a black woman without having to be  sorry, or humble, or polite about it? damn it! who else has to justify loving themselves like this? who else has to fight for the right to call themselves a blessing? goodness, can’t I just be a black woman that loves herself in peace? –Upile Chisala

❤

photo cred: Travis Matthews | upilechisala.com

27 thoughts on “week 5|2017”

  3. “can’t I just be a black woman that loves being a black woman without having to be sorry, or humble, or polite about it?” Yes… but society hates it. The more we speak about it, the more that it will become a standard! I love your voice…that fact that you speak out against the imbalances within the black and white community. Love it. Thank you for sharing!

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    1. Of course! You’re so welcome.
      Everyone is told to be themselves except us Black women. Why should we bend and break ourselves to “fit in” and chop up our bodies to change our appearance when we’ll still be hated and outcast?

      I just want my sisters to love + accept themselves and find beauty in themselves and each other. There’s so much power in that they don’t want us to recognize.

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      1. Sooo true. And it is deeply rooted innour foundation in this country. We were taught to not be proud of who we are….to conform….to be what white people claimed to be acceptable or professional! I love that you speak up to break down those walls! Keep writing for me and for every other black girl in this world!!!!! 😊

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        1. We’re all taught to conform to whiteness, from what we celebrate to how we spend to what we find beautiful. I’m glad to know you know that and I hope more sisters continue to come around. Thanks for the lovely comments 😉

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      2. AGREED!
        It makes you wonder why they NEED us to conform. What is so threatening about us standing in our power…looking just like we look?
        I mean, what is it about us being exactly who were are, authentically, that scares the hell out of folks?
        To me, it seems like the deepest case of jealousy I’ve ever seen.

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          1. I don’t think it is jealousy alone Kelley. There is that – we can see it in the way we are copied/emulated: tanning the skin, pumping up the lips, plaiting the hair (like they did it first!) dancing, sports, – I could go on. But there is a deep-seated fear which is unspoken and it has always been there. We don’t have to try to be superior – we know we have superiority. I think if people constantly want to exert their superiority over others it shows that they are very insecure indeed!

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  9. I never met a woman who truly loved herself. I never met a woman who was comfortable being who she was, comfortable in her own skin. I’ve met a few who said they were fine with who they were but they eventually went on to tell me all the things they would like to change about themselves, all the things they wished were different. Having us continually concentrate on ourselves (media), and our MANMADE flaws, is a patriarchal game that keeps us doing busy work (since the standard of beauty constantly changes, so we can’t EVER get too comfortable). It cuts us off from our own strength and our own definition of beauty. It makes all of us feel as if we are less, and it DISTRACTS us from the things that matter, the things that are important. All women suffer from this hateful conditioning and pathetic brainwashing. We must overcome this ridiculous and false standard of so-called beauty, that only exists because of those who wish to control our lives. We have to stop buying into the hype. This stuff never ends. We are not expected to be okay with ourselves because if we all did, we might run for office, be fantastic scientists, take over the world, instead of wondering what we can do to look more beautiful and fix the flaws that others tell us we have.

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  11. It is Written: Be better than, more gifted than, more talented than, more betta lover than; We need to Let Go. Mostly ’cause we are the ones who wrote the written. I say, “Erase!”

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    1. Thanks buddy. Those are some appreciable questions for which I have no answers. I do know there were some heavy, dark days in history that got us to this state.

      Thanks for your feedback + tuning in.

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