Does Black Love Actually Exist? (a reblog)

Posted on by kelley

We spend our lives craving it, looking for it, and talking about it. The meaning of It can be felt more than it can be expressed. It’s called the greatest virtue. It’s love. What is love? I spoke to people, read books on it and even searched several dictionaries for an absolute but there was […]

via Does Black Love Actually Exist? — MINDSIGHTCOLLECTIVE

17 thoughts on “Does Black Love Actually Exist? (a reblog)”

  1. I would say that it does, I just haven’t found it but then, I may not be open to it. I was married to a Black man, but when I look back on the marriage, I did not love him. And of the relationships that I have been in, I have found that I was never ‘in love’. I do believe it’s me and not them and I do think this goes back to how I was raised. There was absolutely NO love whatsoever in the household. And so, how on earth can I know of love, and even speak of love when I saw not one iota of love throughout my formative years? My mother and father never loved each other and so they could not show us what love was. I can only feel empathy, but not love.

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    1. Ah, thank you for sharing your testimony! If only we could all be so honest about our emotions and sometimes being lack of emotion.

      I am sure your story is not unique. Many people are in love but not together; together but not in love. Due to convenience, what they perceive as love or what looks best to outsiders. It really is disheartening knowing that people go through the motions of SHARING THEIR TIME, SPACE AND ENERGY-the most valuable bits, in my opinion-with no emotion or being dissatisfied, scared, lonely or unloved. Where is the benefit?

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      1. Kelley, I see no benefit in a relationship of that sort and that is why I cannot find it in me to simply ‘go through the motions’ just because society expects it of me. I must stay true to who I am and not just ‘go with the flow’ for the sake of fitting in. I’ve always been a non-conformist and I shall always be one. I cannot pretend something I don’t feel and I will not subject another to a pretend relationship. It does not benefit either of us in the long run and I believe it will eventually make us resent the other.

        Thank you for posting this Kelley. It should get people to do some serious soul searching and find out why they’re really unhappy and why they are simply okay with settling and not really loving.

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        1. You’re so welcome. Thank you for your insight. It’s very true that people need to look within, find what makes them happy, angry, what they just cannot tolerate. Instead of running from person to person to dump all their troubles, people need to just be the best they can be, content with self. Genuine friendships and amorous relationships are just bonuses.

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  3. Pingback: Does Black Love Actually Exist? (a reblog) — gray suede – Oddmind Rupert

  4. I think that Black love absolutely exist still. I am married to a wonderful Black man and have had the opportunity to meet many incredible Black couples. But, my views are not biased. I can one hundred percent understand how it would appear the opposite and I do agree that finding Black love takes a little more digging. But to that effect, I believe that once you find it, it’s a love on a deep level unlike a lot of these superficial relationships you come across more frequently.

    Another great post Kelley!

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    1. Thank you! And yes, I reposted this not only to provoke conversation but also for those that are feeling helpless in the dating world; you cannot deny the facts listed on the original post! Black love is alive and well.

      Thanks so much for reading and giving your testimony!

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  6. Yes it does. My parents were married for 40 years. They took their marriage vows seriously. Divorce was not an option and believe me they went through many hard times. When doctors diagnosed my younger brother Stephen and emotionally disturbed in 1963 (nobody had heard the term Autism) they told Mom and Dad to forget about Stephen and put him in an institution. My parent refused to give up on Stephen. There were no resources for developmentally disabled children back in the 1960s but Mom and Dad stuck together, they searched diligently for a school that would accept Stephen. They found one. Also my parents raised both of us to excel to our abilities. They made the decision to see what Stephen could and could not do and Yes we both had chores. My parents functioned as a team. If I tried to get around something Mom had told me Daddy said, What did your Mother just tell you to do. Life was no rose garden. There were days when all we had to eat was Dinty Moore beef stew and fried baloney. But my Dad was a Provider and a Protector. My Mom taught me to read, write and spell by the time I was 4 years old. Both my parents were born in 1930 so they survived the Great Depression, WWII and in my Mom’s case Jim Crow.

    When Daddy was in the hospital dying from cancer in 1995 every day that I went to see him he asked about Mommy. In fact he could not leave this earth until he was assured that she would be taken care of. Three years later in 1998 Mommy followed Dad to Paradise. Love goes beyond health, wealth, the ability to have sex, youth and looks which fade anyway.

    As for me no I never married. That was a decision on my part. I know me. And as a young person in the 70s and 80s it was best for me to be Single. I enjoyed staying out late, having fun, traveling. Basically I was a free spirit. Now that I’m getting older Yes I would like to have a companion a partner in life. IMHO if you want a stable relationship please don’t take your cues from reality shows, rappers, or hip-hop. Morals and values do count for something because youth and good health don’t last forever. Think long term. Sorry for the long post.

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    1. Thank you for reading and sharing your testimony. No need to apologize for the response.

      The original author posed the question to prove that it does, just as you stated above. Media chooses not to glorify that but instead highlights violence and negativity. We all know that’s not all there is when it comes to Black relationships! But of course young, impressionable minds are going to eat what media feeds them and absorb it as the truth. I see Black love daily so it’s not even a question.

      Thanks again for sharing your story. I’m glad this sparked a conversation!

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  7. Pingback: Does Black Love Actually Exist? (a reblog) — gray suede – learnaswegrow74

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creator. foodie. lover of books, beards, travel, fashion, black tea, critical thinkers + game changers