week 31|2017: 9 things to give up

9 Things to Give Up if You Want to be Happy

1. Complaining
2. Limiting beliefs
3. Blaming others
4. Negative self-talk
5. Dwelling on the past
6. Resistance to change
7. The need to impress others
8. The need to always be right
9. The need for other’s approval

Giving up isn’t always a bad thing. I’ve given up many things that worked for me at one time. Of course I thought I couldn’t live without ________, but time created me a better woman. That hindsight is 20/20!

Most of my days are good, “happy” days, but right now I’m working on numbers 3, 4 and 5. Number 3 because I feel the need for someone to be at fault. SOMEONE! This is not always the case. People often do what feels (or looks) best for them and you just may find yourself in the crossfire. They may not know. They may not care. And pointing the finger doesn’t change the outcome or make me feel better, so..
That brings us to #4; when a situation turns sour, I often blame myself for not using more discernment or flexing my spidey sense. This benefit of the doubt thing isn’t always beneficial, man. I mean at least not for both parties involved. I just have to accept the fact that- dang it! I’m not psychic! There isn’t enough prep time in the world to map out a route that avoids all uncomfortable, time-wasting ordeals. And it’s impossible to bend every situation in my favor.

And of course this lands me at #5: writing another chapter of my own book of quotes and short stories entitled Things I Should I have Said. It’s full of those nagging thoughts that love to creep in, especially late at night when I should allow my mind to rest. I cannot change what was (not) said or done; I need to make peace with it and move on.

What about you? What have you given up that has made you a happier you?

22 thoughts on “week 31|2017: 9 things to give up

  1. Self-judgment. Comparing myself to others. After a while I had to disengage from some of the Life Hacks (sometimes I felt hacked by an axe) blogs/websites because they set the bar so high and their definition of success does not match my ability. Everyone is at different levels and stages of their respective lives so I must do what works for me. As our lives progress our priorities change so I do my best to flow with those changes.

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  2. I think #2. I’ve recently started reading and watching videos about mental models. It turns out that we can have limiting beliefs shaped by society that block how we function, unless we think about and face them head on. An example is, “it takes hard work to reach a goal.” Turns out that’s not always the truth but if we never think about and reverse that model, then we could just be spinning our wheels, while not attaining anything. That’s just one example.

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    1. Yes! I love that example! Thank you. I know the system is designed more so for workers, not thinkers. My sister and I were just discussing adulthood, how we’re taught that buying a tract house in the suburbs and commuting an hour+ in stressful traffic to a job you despise is the norm. Why? Says who? Many assume a role without much thought.. and at what cost?

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      1. True that. We’ve been brainwashed. It’s time to ditch the matrix. There are many things I wish I knew 35/40 years ago. As much as possible pursue your passions in life and explore your dreams.
        Fortunately I’m close to retirement ready to spread my wings.

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  3. I gave up bitterness. When someone doesn’t do right by me, I let it (and them if required) go. Quick. I allow myself to hurt, but there’s a time limit on that. I’m not going around for weeks/months like Eeyore while they skip happily along to their next happy moment. I realized -like you said- that people are only doing what they feel is best for them and that honestly may not be me.

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  4. I’d like to think I’ve lessened the need to do all of them but I still have my moments. I guess I am just learning to accept my human ways and forgive myself when those less-than-ideal qualities of me spring up.

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