week 1: a note on self-care


Black women’s self-care is also subversive because to take care of ourselves means that we disrupt societal and political paradigms that say that Black women are disposable, unvalued. Indeed, people and things that aren’t cared for are considered expendable. So when we don’t take care of ourselves, we are affirming the social order that says Black women are disposable. – Shanesha Brooks-Tatum from Subversive Self-Care: Centering Black Women’s Wellness, 2012

What are you doing to care for yourselves, ladies?! Fellas? It’s silly to only expect that another take care of you–your lover, your mama, your employer, your son or whoever–when you don’t even demand that of yourself. Are you taking that necessary time to eat better, think positive and feed your soul? Are you weeding out toxic, draining tasks, people and environments? Are you meditating? Taking long showers? Journaling? Crying? Exercising? Engaging in meaningful sex and intimacy? Drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep? Staycationing?

Are you saying no, sticking up for yourself and speaking life into what you want and deserve?

Are you talking or writing out your troubles.. or burying them? Heck, just admitting and voicing that you need space, love, attention, a listening ear or a hug is self-care.

Society has it all wrong; Black women are valuable. Precious. Necessary. Amazing! Unfuckwithable. Don’t you think?

click here (great space for self-care and mental illness)

find a therapist



32 thoughts on “week 1: a note on self-care

  1. Great post, we are certainly valuable, our value does not increase or decrease due to someone’s inability to see our worth. As long as we are sharing this air and we make it alive each day our value speaks out loud. 😊

    Liked by 5 people

  2. My goal is to retire this year and get my life back. Move the focus more to my passions of writing and photography. I love to indulge in bubble baths.

    Coloring and taking care of my hair, buying different lipsticks and pampering myself through pedicures and the occasional manicure. I had to laugh about the sex. At my age I will be 59 next month that part of my life ended long ago. Men prefer younger women and I don’t believe in sleeping around.
    My energy is directed to other pursuits.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. “Engaging in meaningful sex and intimacy?” Love this. IMO the operative word is meaningful. People really don’t consider those permanent soul ties when they lay with someone. I feel like if you’re engaging in an intimate relationship with someone and you don’t feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable with them in other aspects then why let them see you naked?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Every now and then, we do need to see this; that we need ‘self-care’ for if we don’t care for ourselves, who else will? Since I recently moved, the men here are all of the same mindset that they want a mother. The first question I get asked by a man is if I can cook. The cussing that’s come out of my mouth even has me blushing and that is hard to do. But I have decided to start ignoring the ignorant and concentrate on me and only on me. I am not going to break myself taking care of some grown man who just wants to sit back and have me bring him his dinner, his drink and his slippers. He needs to go back to his mama or get a dog for that. From now on, it’s ALL about me.

    Thanks for posting this one Kelley!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you. I have decided to start blogging as a way of voicing my thoughts, fears and most importantly I started blogging to affirm myself. #ImWorthy

    Liked by 1 person

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