Parenting Your Non-Children

I celebrated my nephew’s birthday this weekend; he had a few friends join him at the trampoline park and dinner. One spawn of satan kid got out of hand—talking loudly and over others. Getting up randomly. Shaking his empty cup at the server. Yelling “where’s my food?!” more than once. Not a once did I hear a please or a thank you. My nerves, y’all!

As far as I know, T (for Terrorist) doesn’t have any mental limitations besides maybe a food/sugar addiction, so I was dumbfounded to why he was acting out pretty much the entire time we were at the restaurant. There were three dads present (including his father) who never reprimanded him. Not once! After at least six common decency violations and 12 restaurant etiquette infractions!

Instead of digging deep into why he was behaving this way (my guess is he doesn’t get enough attention, mom is the only disciplinarian, both parents have a Helen Keller style of “parenting” or/and he may see his dad treat his mother this way), it bothered me more that none of the guys spoke up, especially his father. I mean treat your parents how they allow, but it’s problematic when your disrespect trickles onto strangers, especially those who are servicing you! I wanted to say so much more, but I only told T to go ahead and eat your food when he kept exclaiming his sandwich was “pooping” because the sauce was coming out the side, but that was a misdemeanor compared to the rest of his behavior that evening. And that was all that was said as far as discipling him, if you can call my weighted suggestion discipline.

I know, like me, reading this makes you want to just back of the head smack the little sucker and his father and tell him to sit down and shut up. But it wasn’t my place. Or was it? This was my first time meeting them both, but since he was with my party, do I bear some responsibility to this heathen? I know T’s a product of his environment, as all children are, so should I (or any of the other adults) have asked his dad wtf, mane? Get your boy! ??

Parenting is such a personal subject as your children are mere reflections of their genetic makeup and who’s raising them or failing to raise them properly. Besides if he is in obvious danger or putting another child under duress, do you step in when a kid you don’t really know is acting a damn fool, even if the parent is present and aware? What if you do know the child? Do you step to the parent? How does this work?

Advertisements

23 thoughts on “Parenting Your Non-Children

  1. LOL. Spawn of Satan? Yes, I do step in if they are at my son’s party or a party of my nephews and/or nieces. I remind them that this is not how we ask for items. I explain that we say please and thank you. I don’t care what the parents are doing or not doing because manners make the man and the child will remember how to behave in my presence. If it’s a total stranger on the street then I won’t say anything but I will look at their parents like “What the hell is going on?”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. THIS is why I love you, Tikeetha! Thank you. I’m sure it was written all over my face, but as a stranger while everyone else knew them, I was very much so like wth?!
      You’re so very right. A child should not be putting a damper on anyone’s day!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly. That child will think about accepting further invitations when they could be in my presence. Parents should correct their children, but if you are bringing your child to the village then the village can discipline.

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Everything that Tikeetha said!!!!! Word!!!!

      My son’s party or my nephew’s party, my business. Random strangers’ behavior not affecting me or mine then not my business. I’ll just keep it moving.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I might’ve indirectly said something like “I really like how politely K is acting, k can you show us all how to ask for food nicely” or I might’be said “honey, this is how you ask for something” and showed him the right way

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a very interesting post that asks a very valid question.
    Obviously it’s up to the parents to raise their kids. Yes, I agree, when a child is a spawn of satan (hahahaha…sorry but there’s a lot of these spawns going around these days) it brings into question “what are the parents doing?” As much as I would feel like smacking the kid up the head, the parent seems to need one just as much, maybe more. Even if the child is mentally challenged, it is up to the parent to seek professional help.
    Nonetheless, it’s not up to me. I would bear it out that night, apologize to anyone I feel you should about the spawn being there, and never accept another social engagement where that kid would be in attendance.
    I hate to think of him all grown up, but never growing out of this M. O.!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m stepping up. I treat EVERYBODY (child and adult lol) like thy’re my kids anyway. This kind of goes to a comment you made about egos. I would’ve stepped up and manned up. In doing so it would’ve have caught all of the women’s attention. And his ego would’ve been hurt and he would’ve probably wanted to get tough with me instead of his child. And I didn’t say that attention thing as in bragging but real women notice real men and when they do manly things. Just look how you felt like he wasn’t being a man/ father.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yesssssss! Manly men are the only men to me. It’s y’all’s job to check each other while the women can just look pretty, feel safe and, if needed) check you when you get back to the house 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Tikeetha T said exactly what I do. Unfortunately I have been in situations like this far too many times. At the beginning of my parenting journey, I wouldn’t say anything. As my children grew, they would ask me why the “spawn of satan” (hahaha) was behaving so erratically. I realized that they are watching and learning too. When they witness a child behave a certain way and get away with it due to their parents not stepping in, it compromises their behaviors and they believe they can maybe attempt to do the same…although they quickly see it just won’t work with this mama! I step in and remind the child that this is not good manners and then model to them how it should be done. This sometimes gets the attention of the parent and they “try” to step in and take over…something they should have been doing in the beginning. Thanks for this post!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. That’s a tough question…if I had been in your shoes, I definitely would’ve said something along the lines of behaving respectfully in public and then said something about not wanting to embarrass his dad…then it involves dad and now he’s privy to it as well.
    You were much kinder than I would’ve been! 🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yea it is tough! I’m sure dad is privy to it the way he was shaking his head instead of saying something himself. But you never know; they don’t want to say anything and don’t want you saying anything to their kid either.

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to give some feedback!

      Like

say somethin

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s