You Are Not Helping People by Doing This:
- Making excuses for them
- Doing things for them
- Speaking to them negatively and calling it “tough love”
- Not holding people accountable
- Creating an environment where they have to keep coming to you for help
- Giving them the answers and not showing them how to find solutions on their own
@nedratawwab | nedratawwab.com
I like this list. At first I was confused by the second point because duh, we should do things for our loved ones and strangers from the kindness in our hearts. Yes. Then it dawned on me that doing things regularly for able-bodied, able-minded people who can make time to do it themselves but don’t because they know _________ will take care of it can be a hindrance; in college, I worked retail with a girl who never had a mop in her hand because her housekeeper always cleaned. To me, being trained at 20 years old on how to use a mop is a problem. You don’t have to know how to deep clean carpet or power wash a house, but basic life skills are necessary because you never know and.. being an adult.
Like Nedra, I’m just sayin, at a certain point, you kinda have to encourage others to think an do for themselves and be more a guide or friend than a constant enabler.
❤
I still remember watching my daughter use a broom. It was rather humorous until she looked at me and said, “I don’t know how to sweep.” Hah! I’d never taught her the proper way! She learned how to sweep that day. 🙂
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Yes! Show them the way.
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That was a good list. You make a good point with the tough love issue. I see that as an excuse for bullying more often than not.
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Agreed. You have to encourage in a way that can be positively received.
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Exactly. I do want to do that. Sometimes, I don’t hear a response from people when I positively encourage them which is frustration.
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Amen to all of this!
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Great list especially #2! One of my favorite quotes, “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ve fed him for a lifetime.”
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YEP.
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