You Are Not Helping People by Doing This:
- Making excuses for them
- Doing things for them
- Speaking to them negatively and calling it “tough love”
- Not holding people accountable
- Creating an environment where they have to keep coming to you for help
- Giving them the answers and not showing them how to find solutions on their own
I like this list. At first I was confused by the second point because duh, we should do things for our loved ones and strangers from the kindness in our hearts. Yes. Then it dawned on me that doing things regularly for able-bodied, able-minded people who can make time to do it themselves but don’t because they know _________ will take care of it can be a hindrance; in college, I worked retail with a girl who never had a mop in her hand because her housekeeper always cleaned. To me, being trained at 20 years old on how to use a mop is a problem. You don’t have to know how to deep clean carpet or power wash a house, but basic life skills are necessary because you never know and.. being an adult.
Like Nedra, I’m just sayin, at a certain point, you kinda have to encourage others to think an do for themselves and be more a guide or friend than a constant enabler.