An old classmate of mine (let’s call him Vick, ’cause it rhymes with..) said he’d never compromise in relationships because he’d never get what he wanted 🤔
since we were in our early 20s and not four year olds at the time, my head went straight to a. he must either be an only child, b. the only boy child, c. the youngest child, or d. the middle child. Even if none of those apply, he’s still a child.
Compromise is not about losing. It is about deciding that the other person has just as much right to be happy with the end result as you do. -Donna Martini
I understand not comprising all the time and defending your core values, health and safety without compromise, but Vick’s sentiments touched on the little things and the big things. Everything. He stated his refusal to compromise with such conviction as if this behavior proved a history of successful relationships. Nope. I used the simplest example to clarify the nonsense and asked, well what about a movie? She wants to see X and you want to see Y. You’d never bend to see X for her? To which he replied why should I be doing things I don’t want to do?
Hogwash. What is any relationship without compromise? Or life, really? Good luck with that, Vick.
Needless to say, I was physically and emotionally unable to carry another conversation of that depth after learning his feelings on the matter. We didn’t date and it’s impossible to agree on every subject, but it’s pretty impossible to have an adult conversation with someone who responds like a toddler. I don’t look at any relationships—amorous, familial or professional—as if I am losing something when I bend to the other person’s wishes; if it’s a difficult compromise, I try to focus on what I gain instead of what I “lose” —if anything. Sometimes a compromise will grant me peace. Compromising can make the day for someone I love. Mostly, it’s just fair and right to compromise. And in life, there is so much compromise! Think about how different things would be if you didn’t compromise or no one compromised for you.