Black women’s self-care is also subversive because to take care of ourselves means that we disrupt societal and political paradigms that say that Black women are disposable, unvalued. Indeed, people and things that aren’t cared for are considered expendable. So when we don’t take care of ourselves, we are affirming the social order that says Black women are disposable. – Shanesha Brooks-Tatum from Subversive Self-Care: Centering Black Women’s Wellness, 2012
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What are you doing to care for yourselves, ladies?! Fellas? It’s silly to only expect that another take care of you–your lover, your mama, your employer, your son or whoever–when you don’t even demand that of yourself. Are you taking that necessary time to eat better, think positive and feed your soul? Are you weeding out toxic, draining tasks, people and environments? Are you meditating? Taking long showers? Journaling? Crying? Exercising? Engaging in meaningful sex and intimacy? Drinking enough water? Getting enough sleep? Staycationing?
Are you saying no, sticking up for yourself and speaking life into what you want and deserve?
Are you talking or writing out your troubles.. or burying them? Heck, just admitting and voicing that you need space, love, attention, a listening ear or a hug is self-care.
Society has it all wrong; Black women are valuable. Precious. Necessary. Amazing! Unfuckwithable. Don’t you think?
click here (great space for self-care and mental illness)
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Great post, we are certainly valuable, our value does not increase or decrease due to someone’s inability to see our worth. As long as we are sharing this air and we make it alive each day our value speaks out loud. 😊
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Indeed indeed!
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Love this Queen.. So many of us are so lost! Know your value baby, speak your worth! Amen
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amen
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My goal is to retire this year and get my life back. Move the focus more to my passions of writing and photography. I love to indulge in bubble baths.
Coloring and taking care of my hair, buying different lipsticks and pampering myself through pedicures and the occasional manicure. I had to laugh about the sex. At my age I will be 59 next month that part of my life ended long ago. Men prefer younger women and I don’t believe in sleeping around.
My energy is directed to other pursuits.
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That sounds lovely. I hope you meet all of these goals as often as possible.
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I hope so also. My job is bad for my health. Way too stressful. It’s time for me to leave.
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Where anyone were to disrupt the wellbeing of my Queens I would have them placed close to death.
The value of our Queens will rise again, past the point of perceivable value until they’re unattainable.
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I love that. Absolutely.
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“Engaging in meaningful sex and intimacy?” Love this. IMO the operative word is meaningful. People really don’t consider those permanent soul ties when they lay with someone. I feel like if you’re engaging in an intimate relationship with someone and you don’t feel safe enough to be completely vulnerable with them in other aspects then why let them see you naked?
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Indeed! It’s dangerous territory.
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Every now and then, we do need to see this; that we need ‘self-care’ for if we don’t care for ourselves, who else will? Since I recently moved, the men here are all of the same mindset that they want a mother. The first question I get asked by a man is if I can cook. The cussing that’s come out of my mouth even has me blushing and that is hard to do. But I have decided to start ignoring the ignorant and concentrate on me and only on me. I am not going to break myself taking care of some grown man who just wants to sit back and have me bring him his dinner, his drink and his slippers. He needs to go back to his mama or get a dog for that. From now on, it’s ALL about me.
Thanks for posting this one Kelley!
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Of course! You’re so welcome.
To that, I’d ask, do YOU cook? Men are so funny, usually not in a good way.
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Happy New Year sis! Love this. We need to take care of ourselves first.
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Always! With no apologies!
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Thank you for this! Definitely going to practice more self-care on a daily basis
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On a daily, Sis! With no apologies 💕
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Very important post! Thank you!
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Of course. Thanks for reading!
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I read the breakup article on Therapy for Black Girls and that isn’t just for women.
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Right. I hope more men recognize that.
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Let’s hope so!
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Thank you. I have decided to start blogging as a way of voicing my thoughts, fears and most importantly I started blogging to affirm myself. #ImWorthy
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Indeed you are, sis!
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love this post.. i recently blogged about self care as well, check it out https://messagesofmeaning.wordpress.com/2018/01/09/message-13/
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Thanks for tuning in!
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LOVE THIS
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Thanks for tuning in 😉
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So much love for this post – thanks for bringing this back to centre stage where it belongs! xx
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Thank YOU for tuning in.
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Great post. Would be even greater if you could give me a kick in the right direction of my own self-care journey (I’m totally new to self-care and self-love and have made it a goal to integrate in my life for 2018. Please check out my first post-How I discovered self-care…
https://wordpress.com/view/amongstthelaurelleaves.wordpress.com
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Yes! The keyword is “self”. You got this!
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