HOW, Sway?! you ask. It’s possible. Anything is possible, really, with a healthy helping of recognition, action, consistency and determination.
Quick personal story on what prompted me to read the original post and share with y’all:
I had to drop a “friend” because I just no longer felt good in her presence, not even over the phone. I noticed that she’d continuously make comparison comments on weight, finances, workload, practicing art, attention from men/dating, petty nonsense, etc… And in ALL of these categories, I believe you should compare yourself to no one except the man or woman you were yesterday or this time last year. I mean really, what is the point otherwise? It took me years to drop her because of our lengthy “friendship”; I guess I felt obligated to someone solely because I used to enjoy her company and she’d been in my life a decade. But when I analyzed what she was contributing, it was a no-brainer to see she was a seasonal friend whose fair weather’d turned cold. Burrrrrr! Gucci!
So today I share 7 Powerful Behaviors to Stop Absorbing Other People’s Energy for the bulk of us who find ourselves in situations with folk that we can’t just walk (or slowly drift) away from- like annoying co-workers, inconsiderate customers or live-in family. Please take a look at the original post to read the author’s full details of each of the following behaviors and truths and keep in mind that my interpretations stem from dealing with negative, useless emotions, not positive:
1. Discover your unresolved issues. I find myself practicing this more and more. I ask myself why is this bothering me? Is it really an issue? If so, could I handle this differently?
2. Express yourself 100%. Holding back is like telling a half-lie, right? Not being completely honest ofttimes omits key parts to a story that may come back to bite you at the most inconvenient time.
3. You are not responsible for others. Word. In knowing that you have zero control of how people act toward you, you don’t take it personally nor do you absorb the other person’s energy.
4. Find your environment. This is not about where you are, but where you feel you are. Thoughts become things, so if your thoughts are based in worry, fear or doubt, guess where you at, playa…
5. Let go of the need to be validated. As the author mentions, your don’t need validation, just support. And even all the support in the universe won’t propel you if you don’t believe you’re worthy and deserving of greatness.
6. The Invitation. Whether we take responsibility or not, we attract everyone that crosses our path. We all use discernment on who to engage and who to avoid.
7. Do not pay attention. This has been the most difficult for me, but as I mentioned, thoughts become things. By giving attention to things you don’t want to happen, you give them all the power. Of course positive thoughts have the opposite effect and we ultimately decide what to feed and what to stifle. So pay attention to the things you want to flourish and succeed!
Would you add anything to this list?
black|burgundy 
Good list. I’m a bit at odds with #6. I don’t think we attract everyone who crosses our path. That’s like saying starving or abused children attract hunger or violence.
Some negatives are products of our violent judgmental society. Other factors include traditions, religion and culture. Lastly state of mind. When I was 40 I got involved with my abuser. I had just lost both of my parents Edward and Mable Palmer. I was lonely and vulnerable. However he took advantage of me. In order to absolve myself of guilt, shame and stigma I stopped being hard on me and put the blame where it belongs. On him.
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I think your story summed up what the author and I were trying to convey; your pain may attract what you think you deserve at the time, what you need to help you grow. My sister was in an abusive relationship off and on for almost 10 years and I know her esteem and vibrations were so low that it denied her anything good. But, when you change your thinking, you change your life.
Thanks for sharing your testimony.
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I’m a work in progress.
Just when I think that I’m healed and well then something happens to trigger the pain of the past. I suppose it’s imprinted and ingrained. Every day I listen to the Bible and affirmations but violence leaves a mark that is not easily erased.
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I completely understand.
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In terms of #6 and The Law of Attraction in general the Bible has two great examples that come to mind.
Time and chance happen to All.
When people asked Jesus what sin did the blind man and/or his parents commit that he was born blind. Jesus answered nothing. His blindness was not due to sin. But the Glory of God was made manifest through him.
The Law of Attraction in general makes people feel like idiots, fools and failures. Many things that happen to us come from outside forces over which we have no control. It’s not healthy to live in continuous blame, guilt and shame.
The moment I learned to accept and adapt was better than all the memes and affirmations. I will never be perfect. I accept my faults, flaws and self doubts. Though most won’t admit to the dark side. Everybody has it.
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This one, unfortunately, resonates with me AND how!
Firstly, I am always the ‘go to’ person in my family for anyone in trouble. And after I have moved heaven and earth to help them, I am then the ‘go to’ person when everyone wants to slam someone. I get slammed all the time for my so-called ‘roaming ways’. It is my family’s position that I should be in close proximity to them at all times so that I can be at their beck and call at all times and if I happen to leave without apprising them of my leave-taking before I leave, well..then…I become persona non grata.
Secondly, I have had to whittle my friendship list down considerably seeing as how I am also the one who gets innocently used. Someone whom I thought of as my very best friend was using my name to get discount hotel rooms while I was married(our job gave us a limited number of discount hotel stays). I found out by calling the hotel to reserve a relaxing, peaceful time at the hotel to get away from husband and kid only to hear the hotel reservation clerk tell me that I had used my allotted discounts for that month when I had never even stayed at the hotel ANY month. That slut had her own house, but because she couldn’t keep her legs closed, was using my hotel discounts up because she had used up her own by taking her side trick to the hotel while leaving her main squeeze at home to cool his heels. This is exactly why my inner circle is extremely small. I could go on and on in this vein, but I am sure you get the message.
Great post, btw!
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Indeed! You live and learn. It’s amazing that even family can milk you dry and wonder why you finally get tired and do for self, at the same time rejecting any treatment that’d put them in your position.
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This article was right on time. I find myself dealing with an inherent energy vampire in the workplace and it’s entirely frustrating! But this article is allowing me to re-focus and look at things from a different perspective.
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I’m glad to hear that, Gloria! A shift in perspective can change your life.
Thanks for reading.
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Your list is great. Years ago, I had to drop several toxic friends and realized I was only holding back due to length and that I felt sorry for them and made excuses. Quality is better than quantity of friends.
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Definitely! You’re fortunate to even call one person a true friend.
Sometimes you need to step back and really evaluate how, if at all, these people are beneficial to your life. All the answers are there.
Thanks for tuning in and sharing your testimony!
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